Last first and everything in between

Being a senior and growing up is such a weird feeling. It's like rewinding an old VCR tape and realizing you really have been working towards these goals for the last 3 plus years. And they're finally coming to an end while you prepare for a new beginning.

This past weekend, I ran my "last first" cross country meet. Which doesn't really hold much nostalgia for me considering I have only ran two seasons of cross- both in college. The race was fine, but I would be lying if I said it felt like my true potential was laid out on that course. Still figuring out how to combat a foot that never feels good in spikes, and a low mileage training plan leaves me feeling like I'm not fully prepared to race the 6k distance. Alas, we did it, we finished the race, and there's a lot of room for growth this season.

Even more weird, is the feeling of getting ready to complete your undergraduate degree while simultaneously preparing for four more years of an even harder, more rigorous, and specialized degree. I applied to five dental schools this summer, and I recently interviewed at one of them. I am happy and feel very blessed to say the interview went very well and I feel promising for this school. However, I am anxiously awaiting news from the other schools I have applied to. Within the next month, I should know if I've been invited to interview, and I am growing more anxious by the day. Trusting the process, and praying it leads me to where I'm supposed to be. (picture below is me after the interview, enjoying some sweet, sweet silence)

This part of life is challenging. I have had to face the harsh reality that "studying" has been a hobby of mine for longer than I care to admit. I used to spend so much of my time working and being busy that all of my spare time was dedicated to studying. This harsh reality has made me consider what type of life I want to live. This year, for the first time since starting undergrad, I only have one main job. No weekend serving shifts, no early morning coffee shifts, and I'm still getting used to the spare time. Albeit, I am still very busy, but I'm trying to spend my time in healthier ways- lots of adventures with Honey and simply relaxing and doing nothing. I think practicing this solitude has been very helpful in grounding myself and reminding myself why I have been working so hard. I also think that Honey and I (and Ivy, although she could care less) are going to be more than ready to pick up and start another life at the end of this year.

I am already reminiscing and trying to appreciate the small moments of senior year. May the rest of the year be full of good health, a clear mind, and the ability to find happiness in all of the "lasts."

xx

Beka